#also i am realizing that i am very susceptible to peer pressure and need to just start saying no to shit

[girlscience]

love my friends. i do not understand drinking culture at all

[melodythefab]

An Interview with Inferno~

50 Character Builder Questions for your Tabletop Character by Ginny Di

Are you a morning person or more of a night owl?

I am much more of a morning person. I like to wake up early, to start moving as the sun rises and feel sunlight on my skin and feel the rest of the world waking up with me.

What’s the first thing you notice about a person when you meet them?

The way they stand. Do they stand proud? Or do they seem like they have something to hide? Are they fidgeting with something? Do they look comfortable or nervous?

You see a huge spider in your room. What do you do?

Catch it and let it out. I don’t want to kill an innocent creature.

If you could go back and change one decision you made in the past, what would you change?

I would change how I didn’t go to Greenwich sooner. Maybe I’d have met Shortiss, Todd, and Cochann sooner. I was fine, of course, so were they, but I wonder what might’ve happened.

Tell me about your first kiss.

*deadpan* no.

Do you give people second chances?

Of course. I believe there is good in everyone, but also that everyone has a capacity to do evil. We must work with each other to bring the light out in ourselves and others.

Except for Todd. He receives no sympathy from me.

Are you a cat person or a dog person?

Dogs ☺️

Do you think you’re attractive?

By Genasi standards or human ones? I wouldn’t say so, probably, but Basil complimented my muscles the other day, so perhaps? (Me: baby that was for a Bardic no-)

What’s your worst habit?

Letting Todd make any decision with consequences.

(It’s hair upkeep. It might be made of fire, Inferno, but you still have to take care of it).

When was the last time you cried?

It- it’s been a while. I won’t lie, I teared up fighting those black dragons about a month ago, but I also almost died, so I believe I had good reason.

But the last time I really cried- Probably the time I realized I can’t save everyone all the time. That still weighs heavily on me. I’ve come to accept it now, to some extent, but I still wish I could.

Are you a good liar?

In theory, yes. In practice, no. (Read: high charisma, but I always get shitty rolls)

What’s your biggest pet peeve?

Being Todd.

Ok, but really. I’m not sure if this counts as a pet peeve or not, but having a general disregard for the welfare of others.

Have you ever had your heart broken?

In the sense that this is asking? No. However, when we found the Sword of Tyr (I’m pretty sure it’s a homebrew weapon our DM made for her. Basically she has to prove herself worthy to the sword to unlock its full potential.) and I realized that for some reason, I’m not considered worthy by Tyr yet, I’m fairly sure that’s what heartbreak feels like.

It’s okay, though. I’m fine. I just need to do better. I won’t give up.

Are you more likely to use your fists or your words in an argument?

Words first, but then, swords are a fantastic backup option.

What’s something you’re naturally good at?

I’m pretty naturally good at healing. Of course, having Lay on Hands and Cure Wounds helps, but I’m usually pretty good at patching up my friends.

What’s something you had to work hard to be good at?

I have to work really hard to be even remotely passable in anything dexterous. You’d think a warrior like myself would be able to handle a slippery floor or even just hopping into a Bag of Holding, but those are both things that have felled me when my enemies have failed to. (Poor baby has a -2 modifier and I roll really bad for every single Dex check.)

Can you tell when someone is flirting with you?

Absolutely not. Honestly, that entire realm, romance and affection, are just entirely beyond me.

Do you think money can buy happiness?

No. Money can supply temporary happiness. Drinks at the tavern, fancy homes, that sort of thing. But real happiness- at one point, I wasn’t sure it really existed outside of fairy tales. But now I know that true happiness is found in those around you. Shortiss, Cochann, Todd, and even our two additions, Ember and Basil, they’ve all helped me realize that I need my friends just as much as they need me. I don’t think they know it, but I’d throw myself in front of a million dragons if it meant they were safe. They’ve changed my life, and I am forever grateful.

Do you believe in destiny?

Yes. Everyone has a destiny. Life is an ever-winding road leading you there. It’s impossible to avoid, but really, why would you? Destiny is what you were meant to do. Your destiny will see you at your very strongest and push you into greatness. One day I know I’ll reach mine. Until then, I’ll just get stronger and keep growing.

Are you a good cook?

I’m literally made of fire. Everything burns.

Surprisingly enough, though, Ember’s not a bad cook.

What do you think happens after you die?

Well, valiant warriors, those who give their lives for others and would fight ‘til their dying breath, those people go to Valhalla or Folkvangr to dine with the gods and prepare for Ragnarok. For others, Hel most likely awaits.

Did you have to grow up fast?

No. I was blessed with a good father and a good station. I was always mature for my age, but I know that’s not nearly the same thing.

Who do you look up to?

I’m not sure I really look up to anyone. I must carve my own path in this world.

When you go to a tavern, what do you order?

Usually something light, or nothing at all. Todd drinks enough for all of us.

What do you like most about yourself?

I’m persistent as hell. I’m also pretty hard to kill.

What do you like least about yourself?

Sometimes I get caught up and lose myself in my own competitive drive, and it causes me to lose my good judgement. *grins* I blame Cochann. He’s a bad influence. (She doesn’t really blame him. He is, however, a bad influence. Only sometimes, though.)

Are you a planner, or more spontaneous?

Spontaneous. If I make plans, I make them in the moment.

Can you keep a secret?

Absolutely.

Do you like being the center of attention?

Not usually. I tend to stay towards the back of most situations with Shortiss. Basil is far more fit for the attention, anyways.

If you knew you were going to die tomorrow, what would you do today?

I wouldn’t do a single thing different. If I’m destined to die, I’ll go down fighting.

Do you enjoy getting all dressed up for a special occasion?

Not really, but polishing my armor and sharpening my blades gives me a similar feeling, I think.

Where do you feel safe?

With my friends. Sure, they can be annoying, but I know nobody has my back like they do. *laughs* Yes, even Todd.

Do you love or hate being alone?

At one point, I probably would’ve said I love it, but now I can’t imagine being without my friends.

What’s the last nightmare you remember having?

Well, I have horrific nightmares about what will happen if the Cult of the Dragons succeeds exactly every fifth night. That is what drove me to this quest anyways.

Do you admit to mistakes when you make them?

I try to.

Do you want to grow up to be like your parents?

No. My father was a good man, but I have my own destiny.

How do you deal with being sick? Are you stoic, or super whiny?

I legitimately cannot get sick.

What did your parents expect from you when you were born?

My father didn’t truly expect much from me. He always just told me I should strive to be good and do good.

Do you have a strong sense of style?

Fighting style, yes.

Would you rather camp outdoors or stay the night in an inn?

Depends. How good is the inn? What’s the weather like? I refuse to sleep in the rain. It messes with my hair. (We’ve decided she’s like a charmander and if the flame goes out, she, like, dies. Maybe not completely but Bad Stuff happens.)

Is there a food that most people like that you absolutely hate?

I’m pretty tolerable of most foods.

Are you more of a hoarder or a minimalist?

Minimalist. I don’t carry much.

Are you superstitious?

No. (Yes.)

Are you the kind of person who remembers people’s birthdays and pets’ names and stuff?

Absolutely. My mind is an iron lock. (No it’s not. She tries, though.)

What do you do to feel better when you’re sad?

I go to my friends. They always know how to cheer me up. Maybe some friendly competition with Cochann, sitting and chatting with Shortiss or Ember, or doing whatever the hell it is Basil and Todd normally do.

Is it hard for you to trust someone?

Not really. Unless it looks like they’ve got something to hide.

Are you susceptible to peer pressure?

No. Well, not on the things that matter.

If you decided to stop adventuring and settle down, what kind of job would you take?

I’m not sure. I would probably want to be a healer. Maybe find a village to protect. Honestly, though, I cannot see myself giving up this life. I’ve sworn an oath to Tyr. Every day must be spent making sure I follow through.

As a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?

Truthfully, this. I wanted to be a noble adventurer who helped the innocent and did good deeds. I think if, back then, I’d known one day I’d slay a real dragon, well, I probably would’ve exploded from pure excitement.

[guiltyunicorn]

Well...any of you--less than handful of humans--that may or may not be reading or viewing my posts still...particularly those of you who still have stuck around this platform after the anti porn sensory....I am, shall I say; “straight up not having a good time bro...;” The only “best friend” I have ever truly had and held with my borderline tendencies for over 11 years...has indeed come to an end. Unfortunately my superhero/role model and highest in regard human; whom I have forever referred to as “my Platonic Life Partner(PLP) and thus that crazy improbable bff of mine for as long as I can remember....has ENDED. While my instability comes as no surprise the particular dextroamphetamine addiction by this idol of mine is what comes as the largest surprise to myself and to anyone who knows this genius... Olivia has always been the oddest ball in the bank (this was my best attempt at coming up with the snazziest idiom I could for all intents and purposes...) but with her bizarre but brilliant idiosyncrasies this human was MY human. I will give you some backstory; she and I were genuinely the least likely of friends possible. I; a former cheerleader and transfer to this random performing arts high school as a result of my basically stalking (groupie style I shall say) favorite drama/English teacher we shall refer to him as Mr. G) and she a brilliant but shrill transfer into the 11th grade as well--both odd --but attempting tour hormonally charged best..to fit in. She and I, while we wouldn't know it just yet....went to the same Shakespeare summer camp at the same times....which would be our first run in among fate. Actually in an absolute coincidental seeming literary device...I JUST found out that I fucking kid you not this sherif assisting me into this strange (but very kind) motel voucher act of kindness was by Sherif Shakespeare...to whom at the front desk I literally uttered the words “is that a joke?” of course to which he denied immediately but once I explained the bizarre literary foreshadowing of also let out a guffaw This girl and I were absolute opposites in every single way first and forever. She was a hissy introverted cat, while I was an (albeit often) obnoxious golden retriever puppy. (I shed way too much blonde hair as well as literally ALWAYS being STOKED to see you whether you be a dear friend or/and new stranger) Not a brag whatsoever and often my largest weakness...a quality I am quite proud of  no matter how many times it bites me in the ass...Livie and I were each other’s person! No matter what--through thick and thin...When any vapid jock (which in my search of validation socially in which I was enamored by) Many of those times being my impossibly wild and unscrupulous times that at moments, even my own family, could no longer handle/decidedly emotionally support me in the most basic of ways...Livi was different; she always gave off a confident understanding vibe of my mental health issues reciprocating my infallible love, support and downright forcibly pushing her to be her most fun self...while she (in my best possible interest) slapped sense and reason into me whenever...(I often derailed off these tracks) This was a quality I genuinely always saw as the perfect Ying to Yang quality...I was the most innocently intended extrovert (as goes of course my subjectivity of this story complete with my inherently biased words(while obnoxious).... meaning all the best but lacking structure and thus often the most toxic of individuals-and then her; an introvert that desperately needed someone nearly as headstrong as she in order to even her out into social norms and “let loose...”.which is what--if only--thing I served for her. I was her shitshow and she was my genius idol/intellectual master to my grass hopping/unsure shadow. However as the first encounter I had with her on her “dextroamphetamine” which in this moment of accountability; I will admit I was likely a strong peer pressured influence on....believing this infallible idol of mine, could never do anything but good so I realize now--toxically contributed to! This time I came to her, a mess as always but no new substances just feeling abandoned and emotionally unstable(the usual issues I relied on her wisdom for)...but this time was different... My first night I spent here in the middle of this  tiny “footloose” esq town here in Utah...no one knew who this ‘”best friend” of mine even was...at this obscure “kick back”I had been fortunately tagged along to...I’d even often spoken with her current roommate only to hear that--even with her EXPENSIVE double degree from one of the TOP liberal arts colleges in the world--she was making less than Los Angeles minimum wage in this desert(ed) town to nowhere....liked by few, fired even recently and now paying her extremely minimal bills by part time tutoring.... As I am typing this I must say; I began this manifesto with full rage and hatred for this (former) best friend of mine...but as I type this I believe my mother has a point and that this seemingly perfect specimen I have always looked up to seems to be unraveling and this above all breaks my heart more than anything. I guess there are no guarantees whatsoever in this world which is depressing as hell but a minor relief to me, a random Californian, stranded in Utah as a result of a kerfuffle with whom I idolized and could see no flaws within for literally over a decade... Watch who you love closely, and make sure you are truly there for a new med journey because even the best of us are susceptible to functional addiction. Happy Holidays to all. I love you all and blame no one but myself foR my choices and lack of scrutiny of the shift in personality of my who my truest best friend I have ever had the pleasure of calling mine. #RIPtothatrelationship  #adventuregram #Carolinecalloway #betrayal #love #chronicles #honestdiaries #vulnerability #happyholidays #iloveyouall #happyholidays

[rookie-dm-disasters]

Chapter 7: Sound the Alarm

At the steps of the castle, the party saw Nariel in a wedding dress and being led to what they could only assume was eternal matrimony. They saw a look of recognition on her face that told them she knew they were there as well. Pumpeck had been waving to get her attention, and it seemed like it worked. Niama saw her group looking around, trying to come up with some idea on what to do. While everyone was looking more at ground level, Niama had a way of being a more lateral thinker. She looked up to see if there was anything of use above. It was easy for her to consider, having grown up in a forest where she had to be on constant guard from all angles. But, most people in society rarely ever notice what’s above them. She saw at the very top of the tallest spire of the tower was a large bell. She couldn’t help but notice that they had been in the kingdom over an hour and they heard no ringing, so it wasn’t used to keep time. It also wasn’t ringing currently, so it wasn’t used for ceremonies. What other purpose could a bell serve? She wondered. Niama looked to a citizen nearby, an older looking elf, as far as age can touch an elf. She walked over to him and attempted to regain her composure in the stressful situation. “Excuse me, I’m sorry to bother you. I’m not from around here and I’ve noticed that the wedding bell up there isn’t ringing. Is it broken or something?” The elf looked at her and gave a quizzical look. “Wedding bell? You’re mistaken, young one. That is the alarm bell. It only rings when the kingdom is in danger.” Niama immediately had a plan forming. She just needed more information. “Tell me about that, what does it sound like?” He squinted at her. “Well, it sounds like a bell. Danger happens and it rings. It rings a set number of times depending on the threat level so the guards can respond appropriately.” Now she was getting somewhere. “Is it some sort of scale from one to ten?” He shrugged his shoulders “Perhaps. In my 600 years, I have never heard it ring more than three times consecutively.” Niama believed she had all the information she needed to know. “Thank you for your time. Enjoy the wedding.” She said before returning to her party. When she returned to the party, she had relayed the information to them. “Can any of you cast a spell that can copy the sound of the bell?” she asked. “Why would you want to do that?” Asked Pumpeck. “If we can make it sound like an alarm is going off, the people will scatter and panic. We can get Nariel out of here in the confusion.” “That’s not a bad plan.” Said Thorfreyer. “But, none of us are really spellcasters.” Niama had been afraid of that. The whole plan was riding on the possibility that one of them may be able to cast a spell to mimic the sound. She did know that there had to be some magical essence inside of her, being a tiefling, but she could never get those powers to manifest before. Right now, she was running out of options and had no choice but to take that demonic power within her and mold it in to something useful. Pumpeck looked at Niama. “Niama, you can do it.” Niama didn’t quite understand. None of her party should know that she should be able to do magic, at least to a minor degree. But, somehow, this little gnome knew. “What do you mean I can do it?” Pumpeck laughed a little. “You can cast the spell to make the bell ring. I’m not sure why you asked us.” Niama shook her head. “I’ve never been able to control whatever magic I might have.” “What are you talking about? Every time you go out in public your appearance changes to hide your horns and make your eyes look human.” Pumpeck said it all so matter of fact like. Niama was never fully aware of her appearance when she went out. Mirrors weren’t exactly a luxury she had in the forest either. Had she truly been using this magic the whole time? Though, it was true that she was trying to disguise herself, she never realized she was using magic to aid her. Pumpeck continued. “I don’t know a lot about arcane forces. I’m more of a holy magic person. But, to my understanding, a lot of arcane spells have to do with the users’ intent to shape reality in some way. Your magic disguised you because you willed it to. Even if you were thinking about it on a subconscious level.” Niama didn’t know what to say. She could only give a single nod as the rest of the party looked at her expectantly. Will it into existence? She didn’t think she would be able to really create anything. But if she could just make the sound of a loud bell, it would be enough. She heard a voice in the center of the square begin to speak. “We have gathered here today for the wedding of Nariel Golden-Leaf and Willow Sorber.” Niama felt panic well up inside her, but she tried to talk herself down in her mind. It’s okay. Will it into existence. Will the bell to ring. Her hands grew clammy and she started to sweat. She gazed at the bell as if staring at it would do the trick. She felt a small hand touch her leg, she looked down to see Pumpeck looking up at her. “I believe in you.” She said. Something about that calmed her down. She took a deep breath and steadied her mind. She held up her hand at the bell thinking to herself, Two times ought to do the trick. Just two rings and that should put the people here in a panic. She exhaled one last time, and incantation came to her from within her mind and she spoke it aloud. The bell, while not moving, began to ring. She had done it, she was able to use the magic inside her to replicate the sound of a bell. And it rang once…twice…a third…a fourth. She started the sound but couldn’t stop it. By the third ring, the people had already begun screaming in terror and running to their homes. In the confusion, she couldn’t compose herself to try to turn it off, and so the bell rang, and rang, and rang. It was pure pandemonium the guards had started taking up their posts to defend the kingdom from whatever threat that was about to occur. The party could make out in the distance the king and queen beginning to run into the castle, and Willow was trying to get Nariel to return to the castle with him, but she fought back, trying to get to her friends. In the confusion of the crowd, the party started to run towards Nariel. As they ran, Niama heard a voice in her head that was not her own. Daughter of the infernal contract. We are pleased at the growth of your powers. We expect great things from you. Niama took a brief pause but didn’t have time to think about it and kept running. It would have to be a problem for a later time. When they reached the stairs, Nariel was currently struggling against Willows’ grasp on her wrist. He was yelling, “Come on! We need to get to safety!” What he did not see, was the giant minotaur bolting towards him. Thorfreyer rushed Willow and tackled him to the ground with an angry snort. Nariel was a comrade. No one bothers his comrades on the battlefield but him. Nariel looked at the party in utter bewilderment. “How did you all find me? How did you even find the kingdom?” She saw that Pumpeck was riding on the back of a massive dog. “And how long have we had a dog?” Niama put a hand on her shoulder. “Now really is not the time for explanations. We need to get out of here as soon as possible.” She looked to Pumpeck. “Pumpeck, still have the teleportation scroll Argibold gave us?”  Pumpeck nodded her head and saluted in response. “Good, get us out of here. Everyone, stand together.” The party bunched up as Pumpeck rummaged through her bags and produced the scroll of teleportation. Before she could open the scroll to activate the spell, Willow had gotten up and placed himself between the party and Nariel. “I won’t let you kidnap the princess.” He produced a small lute from the folds of his cloak and strummed a discordant cord. A wave of thunderous energy shot out of the lute and pushed against the party. All but Pumpeck were pushed back from the mighty blow. She had her shield up and leaned into the wave. It had no chance of pushing her. Nariel ran over to Willow and grabbed him by the wrist. She yelled in his face. “These are my friends and I won’t let you hurt them. I am going with them of my own accord.” But Willow did not look like he was going to ease up at all. With a deft movement of the hands, he was now grabbing her by the wrists yet again. Pumpeck charged at Willow and she heard from behind her Thorfreyer yell, “Cut off his hand!” Pumpeck wasn’t quite sure that she needed to go to that extreme. While she was running, she yelled back, “Are you sure?” She then heard everyone behind her yell, “DO IT!” Pumpeck was a kind and gentle being. But she always tried to have a sense for the greater good and was susceptible to peer pressure. When she heard her whole party advise she sever this man’s hand, she figured it must be the best idea at the time. With a single upward slash, a spray of blood splashed onto Nariel’s face as Willow fell back and grasped his wrist. The severed hand was still attached to Nariel’s wrist, but all she could do was look at it in horror. The hand slowly lost grip and fell to the ground. Willow was hunched on the ground, screaming in agony. The party regained their footing and made it to Where Pumpeck and Nariel stood. Niama said again, “Pumpeck, teleport.” Pumpeck opened the scroll once they were all close enough together. The scroll burned away in a violet flame and that flame shot to the ground. The flames formed a magic circle around them and was preparing to send them home to Waterdeep. Thorfreyer saw that Willow was within the magic circle and ran to him, picked him up and attempted to throw him out of the circle. Right when Willow left Thorfreyer’s arms, the circle had completed its work, and they found themselves back in the basement of the Dusty Dunes Tavern. Willow, who had just been launched from the arms of a minotaur, careened into a book shelf and slammed on the floor. The party was all accounted for and currently in the basement, they saw Argibold at his workbench with various beakers and spell books opened on his desk. He was looking at them expectantly, sitting from his stool. “So, how’d the mission go?” Argibold looked to Willow who was screaming on the floor. “Rum, could you heal him up? He’s very loud.” Rum ran to Willow and said a prayer to stop the bleeding of willows severed hand. Within a few seconds, the wound had completely healed over.  Argibold looked at them and said, “Much better. Now, back from the field, full report.” Before anyone could start explaining what was happening, Nariel started panicking. “No no no. This is very bad. They’ll just come for me again. They’ll bring more. They won’t stop until I sit on the throne.” Niama said, “Why do they want you on the throne so bad, and why do you have to marry this guy?” She gestured to Willow. Nariel explained to them that her father was dying, and it was an ancient tradition for there to always be a king and queen of the kingdom. They needed Nariel to ascend the throne before the king died so they would not be without the monarch at the time of his death. Niama shook her head “They would force you to marry over some ancient, nonsense tradition?” Nariel only nodded her head in response, looking at the floor. Thorfreyer grunted. “If you’re next in line we could just kill the king and you could ascend the throne by birthright and do away with that. If you were in charge you could change the rules, so you don’t have to sit on the throne to act as queen.” Nariel’s mouth was agape at the suggestion. She never really got along with her father, but she would never actually think about killing him. Before she could think of the words to object to the suggestion, Argibold hopped down from his stool. “Well, I certainly don’t want to have an army come to my home and bust the doors down to take one of my employees again. You say killing the king will solve our problems?” He looked at Thorfreyer who nodded in response. “Well alright. Anyone want to come with me?” Thorfreyer stepped forward, “Sounds interesting, I’ll go.” After Thorfreyer joined in, it wasn’t long before the rest of the party decided to go with them too. Nariel only agreed so she could be there to try to stop it from even occurring. Once everyone was gathered around Argibold, he produced his wand and cast a teleportation spell to bring them back to the front door of the castle of the Golden Kingdom. When they had arrived there, there was no longer the sound of the bell ringing, but panic still ensued amongst the people. Argibold put his wand back into his arm and walked with a casual gait into the castle, on the search for a throne room. Nariel was following close behind him. “Argibold, you can’t kill my father.” Argibold kept walking and without looking at her responded, “I disagree. The act of killing is simple enough.” “That’s not what I mean. I mean please don’t kill him.” “Why shouldn’t I? To my understanding, if you are under my employ, I will have to endure constant badgering from him. So, unless you can think of another solution, I give you a choice. Adventure with someone else and leave me out of your drama, or I kill your father so that it is no issue.” Nariel stopped to consider the options. She didn’t know enough about the adventurer’s life to know how to find another party. And even if she did find another party, the same problem would always follow her. She was stuck in analysis paralysis and couldn’t determine what she wanted or another possible course of action. Argibold kept walking, easily finding his way closer and closer to the throne room. He said, “All I am doing, is what is best for my life, and my business. I’m too old to care about petty interfamily squabbles.” He finally made his way to throne room and swung open the doors. The only ones who were there were the king, queen, and a single guard. The guard was speaking to the king, who looked very annoyed. “Sire, we have discovered that the bell was a false alarm. The guard at the watchtower has confirmed he had not rung the bell a single time. It seems someone had simply played a trick on us.” The king shook his head and let out a long sigh. “Thank you, General Timon. Go let all the guards know to get the word out that the bell was a false alarm and that there is no danger.” Timon nodded with a salute and ran out of the room to inform his troops of the news. The party entered the throne room and the king looked on in irritation. “Daughter, you have played a foul trick on your own people. What do you have to say for your actions?” Nariel stepped in front of Argibold. “Father, I did not ring the bell. Nor did I make any bell ringing noise. That was done by one of my friends. They care about me. They did all they could to come here and save me from being forced into a life that I don’t want. Why can’t you see that I want a life away from this kingdom.” The king shook his head. “I understand your sentiment completely. It is you who does not understand. You do not understand that your feelings and your desires do not apply here. You will be queen, and you will keep this kingdom alive.” Nariel realized there was no point in talking to him anymore. He would never allow her the freedom she desired. If he had his way, she would spend her life as a bird in a cage, never given the chance to spread her wings and fly. Nariel fell silent, feeling defeated in her efforts. She heard Argibold begin to walk around her, he said as he walked passed, “I respect that you tried, Nariel.” When Argibold came in view of the king, the king raised an eyebrow and said, “And who might you be?” Argibold walked forward, slowly, drawing out his wand. “I am no one special, and my name would be worthless to you. All you need to know is that I am nothing but an old wizard.” He pointed the wand at the king. “Specifically, an old wizard that you pissed off.” Argibold’s wand began to hum with power and give off a faint purple light. Argibold locked eyes with the king and said, “Return to your place in oblivion.” The king gave a confused look, but his face quickly went from confusion to terror. He felt his organs starting to fail him one by one. His heart began to beat much slower, breathing became a labor. He felt as if this small wizard had just flipped the off switch on his whole body. He was losing feeling in every part of his body, the numbness quickly spreading to his head. And when it finally reached his head, all was dark. All the onlookers could see was the king grow suddenly still, and his eye became completely white with no color to speak of. The queen who had been sitting next to him quickly stood up and checked for signs of life. Without saying anything, she fell to her knees and began sobbing. Nariel couldn’t help but let tears fall as well. She didn’t want it to come to this. All she wanted was to be happy. She never wanted to hurt anyone she loved in the process. Argibold looked back at the party and spoke as if nothing had happened at all. “Now that that’s done, is everyone ready to go home?” Everyone nodded, but before they could leave, they heard the queen beginning to speak through choked tears. “You wretched excuse for a daughter. You had a responsibility to your people, to lead them. But you threw them aside, feeling no need to fulfill your duties. Your father and I did all we could to raise you right. Raise you with some sense of responsibility, but you never learned that your actions affect other people. I don’t know how you ended up this way. Selfish and completely uncaring of those around you. Perhaps the kingdom is saved from having someone like you as queen.” Nariel didn’t know what to say in response. Before she could even think of what to say in response, the party heard a noise they weren’t expecting. It was the sound of a large bell. It rang once…twice…a third…a fourth. Up until it rang a total of six times. The queen and Nariel, understanding what that meant got looks of terror on their face and looked out the window of the throne room to see what was happening. They looked at the sky which was currently clear and sunny, but quickly saw a flash of red scales. And then another flash of red scales. The next thing they saw were two, full sized red dragons flying around the kingdom. Nariel turned to Argibold and said, “Can you do anything about them?” Argibold said, “One red dragon would be bad enough. Two dragons would be nearly impossible for me to take care of alone. Too much for all of us for that matter.” Nariel ran back to Argibold so he could warp the party out, she looked to her mother and said. “Mother, are you coming with us? We have to get out of here.” Her mother looked at her with contempt. “I, unlike you, will stay and fulfill my duties to this kingdom. I will stay, I will lead, and I will fight. I will not run from my responsibilities to my people like you.” Before anymore words could be exchanged, Argibold cast the teleportation spell and they were instantly back in the basement of the Dusty Dunes Tavern. Argibold put his wand back into his arm and said, “Well, you should all probably get some rest. I have a quest for you all to take on tomorrow.”

[marcusssanderson]

3 Reasons You’re Afraid of Success and How to Get Over It

Being successful is a complex desire that we strive for from a very early age. For some, it will take years to achieve, and at great expense. For others, it seems to happen overnight with little effort at all.

What is it that separates those who have achieved success vs. those who have not? Why aren’t you more successful? Could it be that you are more afraid of success than you are of failure? And if so, how do you eliminate your fear and embrace success again and again?  

Fear is the ONE thing that holds most people back from achieving success. Yet, it is also the one thing that pushes people forward.

Let’s look at some of the more provocative reasons why you may be afraid of success, while also shedding light on how you can overcome your fears and find success more quickly and consistently.

Afraid of Success? Don’t Worry: Haters Gonna Hate

Can we agree to be real as we get started? Honestly answer this question: When you find out about the success of one of your co-workers, friends, family members, or peers, do you:

Judge them?

Feel jealous?

Secretly wish it was you?

If you answered yes to any or all, you are not alone. Most people have, at one time or another, felt the same way, whether they are successful or not. It’s NOT coming from a harmful place in our hearts or minds; it’s coming from a place of desire.

When we are not personally finding success and the people around us are, it can feel challenging. We start to let our imaginations get the best of us. We think that these successful people are luckier, more connected, or have something that we don’t. We start to unfairly judge them while feeling worse about ourselves than we really should.

Through my work at Inspirer, I am fortunate to know many successful people. I have found that my experience is similar to theirs; 99 percent of success stories came with good old-fashioned hard work, determination, and grit. Nothing was freely given; they worked hard for what they achieved.

Since you typically don’t know the whole story behind success, I challenge you to NOT judge the successful people around you. Not only is this unfair to them, it’s also unfair to you.

Think about this for a moment. If you judge someone on their success, do you think others will judge you when it’s your time? If you negatively judge others, are you not then susceptible to the fear of being negatively judged for your success? Those negative thoughts that creep into your mind are holding you back because you fear being judged.

Unfortunately, haters gonna hate.

Perhaps you’re afraid of success because you’ve been judging someone else’s achievement negatively.

It is easy to judge others and diminish their success by being a “hater.”

My advice is for you to STOP. Don’t be the reason why your own fear exists…turn this fear upside down and celebrate the success of others, no matter how big or small. Don’t let your personal negative judgment sneak its way in.

The next time you hear about someone else’s success, celebrate it. Look for the reasons why they earned or deserved it. You find then that instead of fearing “haters”, you will look forward to the “celebrators” of your own success.

    Success Resets the Criteria by Which You Are Judged

I own a successful business with my fiancé. We have dozens of clients. We are growing steadily every month, and we are in a happy place.

Often times, my family or friends ask me questions about my success. They want to know what’s going on in my business and how is it growing as fast as it is. But not every month is perfect. I sometimes feel like I am judged negatively if we have setbacks or challenges along the way.

At first, this really got to me. I felt like I always needed to have some exciting news to share every time I sat down with family or friends. It started to become a fear and a worry. It stripped away my happiness and compounded my anxiety during the not-so-perfect months.

I realized what had happened: my previous successes had reset the criteria by which I’d now be judged going forward – and it was placing a new fear on top of the fear of judgement: the fear of pressurized judgement.

I don’t like feeling pressure, especially in business. I find that good thing happen in their own time and it’s very hard to make them happen. When you feel pressured or rushed, it’s easy to overcook the chicken. But when you take your time to prepare and cook it low and slow, it comes out perfectly moist and delicious.

If you find yourself with these pressurized judgments because of past successes you have had, don’t let that entice you to overcook the chicken. Your fear of being judged will be more detrimental to your success. It will take away the joy that comes from those small and memorable moments in your career and life.

Rather than let that happen, celebrate YOUR small successes just as much as you would celebrate someone else’s. Enjoy all moments of success, especially in the beginning.

    Fear of Failure

No one likes to fail. Failure is never something we want to welcome, strive for, or admit to. When you start to experience success, the pressure to continuously succeed becomes a burden. Then the fear of failure, even small ones, starts to become overwhelming and scary.

Unfortunately, the chance of failure is higher than the chance of victory. No wonder most folks are afraid of success. But now I will tell you the things you’ve probably heard before:

Failure can power you to your future successes.

You can learn much from your failures.

Failure is not as bad as it seems.

But what I really want you to remember is this:

You may fail, but you are NOT a failure. The failures are the ones who could have done what you attempted to do, but chose not to.

There is a BIG difference between failure and being a failure. It’s difficult to get over this fear, but certainly not impossible. Remember that you are not a failure as long as you try, and trying takes courage – the universal antidote to fear.

Success tip: Write down your fears, as journaling is one of the best exercises you can do to help find achievement, while also understanding why you may be afraid of success. This will help you face your fears head-on, as well as move past them so you can focus on what’s important.

To wrap up, remember that celebrating success, whether it’s yours or not, is important. Doing this will bring you happiness rather than disappointment. Don’t be afraid to fail and don’t let failure stop you from trying. Trying is the ticket to success. Without a “try” you are insured to fail.

Lastly, enjoy the small successes. Embrace beginnings. Embrace all successes. Keep these aspects in mind and your fear will disappear!

And remember, DON’T overcook the chicken!

The post 3 Reasons You’re Afraid of Success and How to Get Over It appeared first on Everyday Power Blog.

[sharionpage]

Identity: Not Just a Fashion

The Self Improvement Blog | Self Esteem | Self Confidence

Identity. Self-esteem. Self-confidence. Individuality. Each are words we hear every day. But when I speak to women and young people and listen to how they feel about how they fit into society and the media, I wonder how much of our sense of individual confidence is generated from within. How much of it depends on what is in fashion?

One of my girlfriends recently admitted that part of her confidence in her own body shape is because it’s become societally desirable. When Alek Wek was on the front of all the magazines with her gorgeous Dinka features, the media constantly reminded us that she was very far from the conventional beauty ideals at the time. Whose beauty ideals? For me, Alek is a stunning woman full-stop. As much as I was thrilled to see her ‘breaking barriers’ and records, I feel strongly that we didn’t need the media to tell us what beauty looks like.

From disability to color and everything in between, it seems like not a week goes by that a new identity trend is on the front page. Only where it was once a new seasonal color or skirt style; it is now people’s actual real identities.

As a PR expert, I know how the media machine works. The media uses representation to convey (or push!) specific ideas and values related to culture and identity in society. Blackness, disability, culture, and class have all become ‘fashionable’ at different times but why? And according to who? As a diversity marketing pioneer, I’m always happy to see new frontiers being forged. But as a psychologist, my concern is that these representations aren’t an authentic celebration of our differences. I’m concerned that they are more and more a temporary act of ‘permission’ for minorities to feel at ease with their individuality.

The problem is that fashion isn’t timeless, it’s what is hot right now today. Once the season is over, today’s hottest trend becomes ‘out’ overnight. So what happens when the trend is over?

Last year Kylie Jenner caused a backlash when she posed for a photo shoot in a wheelchair. She appeared as a ‘disabled’ fetish sex doll all in the name of ‘fashion.’

The media touted it as an ‘empowering representation’ of disability.

Historically, people with disabilities have been denied fundamental human and civil rights. Modern societies still attach a huge stigma to both physical and mental disability. As it stands, the representation of models with disabilities is particularly bad in the UK. To me, an able-bodied reality TV star posing in a wheelchair isn’t a route to the disabled community feeling relevant. Kylie Jenner sitting in a wheelchair doesn’t promote diversity, it portrays disability as a fad.

The Paralympics sparked similar conversations with Paralympian Baroness Tanni Grey-Thompson pointing out,

“When we see next year’s hate crime figures then we’ll have a better view of whether there’s been a real change or whether it’s been a moment in time.”

Whether we like to admit it or not, it feels good to be ‘en vogue’ and particularly for those of us in minority communities, the feeling of acceptance from seeing your culture, race, disability or ‘look’ on the front of Vogue is reassuring. Still, this shouldn’t be viewed as validation.

Our teenagers are totally consumed by this feeling. In their world social currency is the amount of “likes” or

Photo by giano currie on Unsplash

“retweets” they get. With their self-esteem at a low (7 in 10 girls believe they are not good enough), social media has become a safe haven as they instantly get the attention or the validation they are craving for. When this stops or changes, the effect on a young person’s self-esteem is catastrophic, in some cases resulting in suicide.

For adults, social media might not have the same appeal or importance but mainstream media affects us all. Some time ago Dove performed a study that revealed women are suffering poor self-esteem because of advertising campaigns which use airbrushing techniques to portray ”unattainable perfection” with 80% of us unhappy with our appearance. We might feel that our days of trying to fit in with the ‘popular’ crowd are over but with statistics like those, we’re more susceptible than we realize.

When self-esteem is harvested from within, our confidence is more likely to be centered on who we are as unique individuals. So, regardless of the latest trend or fad and whether it reflects us, our sense of identity and self-esteem stays intact.

Few would argue that exchanging cultural ideas is a negative thing. But what happens when the influence and origins of a culture or community go unacknowledged and ignored? How are we meant to feel accepted as individuals if we need celebrity fashion to validate our uniqueness?

I was a model in the 80’s and I can tell you now that a big butt was not in fashion. I weighed every week to maintain a tiny 8 stone figure and part of my success was down to my lean figure. Today, I’m no longer a size zero. But black body shapes are suddenly being accepted because of the ‘Kim Kardashian curves’ fashion. Am I supposed to feel better about myself because of that? Will we remember how to love our shapes and sizes and big butts once the trend is over? Or will we go straight back to asking ‘does my bum look big in this?’

My standards for my body no longer depends on what I’m told is ‘O.K.’  I understand now more than ever that when self-esteem is dependent on a person, trend, or campaign, anything external, it will crumble the moment that thing is taken away.

I grew up as a minority and the last thing me and my peers received when my mum put my hair in cornrows was praise from my non-black peers. So much so that girls of my generation desperately wanted their hair chemically straightened so that they could ‘fit in’. Fast forward to 2017 and Selfridges. One of London’s oldest and best-loved department stores opened Braid Bar. Celebrity models Lila Grace Moss and Stella Jones (the daughters of supermodel Kate Moss and Clash guitarist Mick Jones) helped launch the campaign. The problem is, whilst Selfridges might say this is a ‘step forward’ I don’t see how a pair of white privileged teens can ‘endorse’ a protective Afro hairstyle that has history and meaning. This isn’t an example of progress to me, it’s another fad.

I would rather my daughters love their hair and feel confident wearing their braids for themselves regardless of the latest campaign because I feel it has a deeper, more enduring impact.

We grow and harvest self-belief from inside. It’s the power base of energy that we were born with. The first step to achieving any kind of ‘wholeness’ is to develop the strengths within our character; to celebrate and accept our own quirks and uniqueness.  When you spend your time wishing you were somebody else, comparing yourself to someone else, regretting what you have or have not done, analysing your every flaw, wishing you were more ‘normal’ and only feeling confident when someone like you is on the screen, you are driving yourself further and further away from your life’s happiness. The solution? Your identity, history, and body are as unique as your DNA. So look yourself in the eye, appreciate yourself for everything that you are and celebrate the uniqueness of YOU.

A strong sense of self-worth will never be out of fashion.

About Dr. Diahanne Rhiney

Biography

Dr. Rhiney is a leading-edge Domestic Violence interventionist. Her passion lies in providing guidance, support, education and giving voice to marginalized groups.  Further, she is a recognized award-winning commentator using her multiple platforms and enterprises to raise awareness, educate and empower. She has developed groups, presented workshops and spoken extensively on self-esteem, body issues, children in care, abuse, emotional wellbeing and healthy relationships (including peer pressure and intimate relationship abuse). Also, she is a long time ambassador for children’s women’s rights, safety, and wellbeing.

Diahanne has provided training for foster carers on the challenges of online grooming. She has also worked across borders in Washington, Ghana and Malta focusing on concepts of ‘wholeness’.  She is a qualified psychologist. Her pioneering Domestic Violence charity, Strength With In Me Foundation (S.W.I.M) is a trailblazing method for change. The Foundation equips the next generation with the tools to avoid negative relationships and make empowered life choices.

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Identity: Not Just a Fashion published first on http://ift.tt/2wQcX5G

[disparais]

without them, there wouldn't be any of this

started this post whilst in the car, with my mother’s careless words ringing in my ears, but i later found the time to expound upon some other things. started off rambly, but i realized there was still a certain flow to my thoughts, so i threw in headers wherever appropriate during editing.

also. i was so upset when i first posted this pre-edit/organization (i left the post hanging while i was having lunch with my parents and then the worst stomachache of 2017 after - no idea what the pathophysiology was behind that one) that i forgot to format the post under a cut help

why i hate staying at home: (aka the catalyst for this post)

words have consequences hadghxnsb how can you say things like “i always cringe when people tell me i must be proud that my daughter’s in medical school because i think you’re going to flunk out” fuuuuck why am i even still surprised

scheduling and plans:

also a little unhappy with people who flake on plans. casual plans may be casual but i still take them as binding as long as a date has been set. and i don't appreciate clearing my schedule, especially where j is involved, only to be told that they've been cancelled. especially when it's because the people involved have knowingly made plans with other people. (double-booking is different, i guess, since it's unintentional. plus i’m guilty sometimes since my social calendar is nuts sometimes, so it would be hypocritical of me to be mad about that.)

[update: moments after mentioning double-booking, i realized i was supposed to do zumba with a for fc sigh this is why i said double-booking is unintentional.]

this cancellation just stings so much because it plays into my deepest insecurity, i guess, that i'm overinvested in the friendship and i just. care too much. i mean, why else would our plans matter so much to me and not to them?

and why does reciprocity matter so much to me, anyway? g said it best when she said that God’s love for us is unconditional and we should be striving to love others freely. logically i don’t think i impose any expectations on others in terms of gestures. it’s a scorpio thing to love deeply and jealously, and i need to learn to not be affected by others’ apathy/ignorance.

overly-full social calendar:

i don’t get how i can feel like i don’t have that many friends, even though my social calendar is frequently packed. i guess i really hardly see my close old friends like f, ly, l, h, m, a etc. these days. not forgetting assorted people like the lower-maintenance guys like j and j, and other people like d and k (who slept over recently! it was cool). also truly pleased with the direction suitefam is heading in (see section below).

was actually really pleasantly surprised when d realized i was in school last term (when i was on the way to meeting j) and wanted to meet me spontaneously, even if just for 15 mins (she dropped whatever she was doing and ran over). she said, amongst other things, that meeting me was grounding and calming. a clear 受宠若惊 moment for me, which gave me hope - maybe i do have something apart from sensible advice to offer people (gotta learn to curb my instinct to dispense it when unsolicited, though).

limited social energy:

(i only get to my point in the 4th paragraph tbh) increasingly annoyed with qx sometimes because i genuinely don’t care that much when he cancels on me (beginning to think sometimes that he’s not as important to me as everyone, myself included, thinks he is) bad thoughts stop here but i do care that he tries to foist me onto the next available person. i get that he flakes on people for family because he’s separated from them by a goddamn ocean and he clings onto them. i don’t get how he thinks forcing me to interact one-on-one with someone i’m not really close to is supposed to help my social reserves.

and that’s not even it - the day before, i asked if he wanted to do lunch after anat tutorial, and when he suggested la nonna and i agreed, he began scanning the place to determine who to ask along. what happened to the guy who ditched house lunches because he couldn’t be bothered to wait for them to eat and because he hated sitting on the floor? i’m beginning to think true as those excuses were, they were just flimsy cover-ups for his initial loneliness whilst he was trying to fit in.

honestly happy with the way i am right now in uni - no longer fomo with regards to most things (apart from suitefam HAHA), and far more fiercely independent than before. just a little disappointed in qx in terms of how susceptible to peer pressure in terms of wanting to fit in and all he turned out to be, though i guess it’s sort of understandable since these are truly all the people he has. i probably take my social network for granted sometimes.

after all of this rambling, i mostly wanted to say that i am bone-tired dealing with people from medicine. i hardly find deep/stimulating discussion with these people (my immediate peers) and instead i have to put up with banter and it is. so tiRING

the difficult part is dealing with people like qx who inadvertently worsen the situation by open-jioing people to most things we do. it already costs me to initiate an interaction with someone regardless of whether or not we’re close, and unless you know you’re jio-ing someone else i’m close to, you should know that your “inclusiveness” comes at a relatively hefty cost to me.

and the worst part is when i explicitly expressed my exhaustion (rare, unless my walls are down - suitefam sees me at my most tired and vulnerable tbh) and he said “yeah, yeah, i understand” and i disagreed and HE INSISTED HE DID, and still wanted to invite someone. WHAT EVEN I CAN’T he should have seen me the night of my 5.30am htht with kt. i bet i looked like a complete wreck at 1+ when i showed up at her doorstep but thank goodness for people like 2/5 of suitefam around whom i am comfortable ♥

tl;dr introvert invisibility is real extroverts please don’t pretend to be introverts just because it’s cool and counterculture kthxbai.

suitefam:

truly pleased with the direction suitefam is heading in - definitely getting closer to g + kt every day, and this week we even got to hear from c and s.

suddenly realized that suitefam has opened up a whole host of opportunities for me to indulge my love language in terms of gifts as i’m now able to grab something simple on the way back to share with the suite/drop things in peoples’ buckets/run into my room to calligraph a quick thank-you note. didn’t use to think i was really into gift-giving as a gesture of love as compared with the other 4 love languages, but suitefam is really challenging that self-perception. always good to develop another love language, anyway.

also being reminded very keenly on how much touch is a love language for me, in the sense that if my walls come down far enough for me to be comfortable with personal touch (2/5 of suitefam - naturally, since they’re the people i’m closer to), it is a very rare and precious and lovely thing; touch, even unintentional, is so inexplicably comforting and comfortable for me.

j’s birthday:

i was not mentally prepared to have to celebrate with j on monday and now i need to whip something up asap omG I AM FREAKING OUT HERE what am i even supposed to get him?? (update: that’s right i got him pretty much the same thing i got for my ex previously. smh why am i so goddamn practical and uncreative)

going to ilight with him tomorrow though so that’s a plus - self-reminder to pick a suitable outfit and i guess tomorrow’s going to be burnt on making his card. i sometimes wonder whether we’re truly a good match for each other or not aaa the low-maintenance thing is definitely a pro in friendships but i’m beginning to wonder if it’s okay for us or not since we aren’t just friends after all.

conclusion:

i just want to study for pros and not have to deal with all this omg i swear after tmr i'm just going to buckle down and study because life and socialization is so not worth it sometimes really a little hurt and not ready to deal with the people mentioned in this post for now but it's hard because i do love them (love is not a word i use lightly) but all this is making me wonder if i’m equally loved i guess